Elly De La Cruz and Randy Arozarena certainly did their part to make baseball fun this week!
Making sense of all the nonsense baseball gave us this week through pop culture references!
Baseball was mostly about Elly De La Cruz doing extraordinary things on the base paths and Randy Arozarena being an MLB All-Star.
Hey now, you're an All-Star. Get your game on. Go play. All that glitter was gold in the Emerald City, but nothing gold can stay, Ponyboy. Have I waited too long to find that someone who doesn't play for the Atlanta Braves that just does it for me? Following other teams and players has been mostly Hit or Miss for me, but This Disaster of a human being is certainly trying, man.
Even for a game built around failure, Failure's Not Flattering. And it feels like we're at an All-Time Low when we strike out and head back to the dugout. There may not be many Head On Collisions at the plate, but today, you're going to certainly ask yourself why I've never seen this side of you before, Buhler. The catalyst that insists to pull me down is called life. It's All Downhill From Here.
On a more serious note, I have missed not having Braves baseball on the last few days. You don't know what got till it's gone. I hope the clock doesn't strike midnight on the Braves' fantastic first half of the season. More importantly, I hope you have enjoyed the first half of baseball as much as I did. I think the Midsummer Classic gives us all hope and inspires the joy we once had as children.
May you enjoy the final 80 or so games left because I sure know that I will, man. Let's have fun!
Here are the segments that are definitely going to get us into the second half
This. Is. Florida. Baseball!: Randy Arozarena steps up to the plate in Vince Wilfork cowboy boots
I didn't watch the Home Run Derby, as I had more important things to attend to. However, I do regret one thing by not taking it all in. Randy Arozarena is the best thing to happen to the Tampa Bay Rays since Wade Boggs drank those Miller Lites on a cross-country flight. The last time I saw a full-grown man wear boots like this, Vince Wilfork showed up to Houston Texans training camp.
When I first came across this video, I thought I had cumin in my eyes. Not even delicious barbecued ribs cooked to perfection with the help of some Kingsford could have gotten me to take my eyes off Arozarena. To be fair, I didn't think a human could be more obsessed with him than Jeff Passan, but I am about to put some product into my long hair and crank some got dam Pinkerton!
I'm a lot like you, so please. Hello, I'm here. I'm waiting. It is most definitely El Scorcho outside, ay carumba! Only in Dreams is it not 100 degrees on the reg. While we all strive to be on an Island in the Sun and having fun, Say It Ain't So! I really don't care if your name is Jonas. It will take a Perfect Situation to make you half as cool as Randy Arozarena in boots. You just like Buddy Holly!
Let's say if you strive to take down the Evil Empire, you must Come With It Now in sweet boots.
Chicks dig the long ball | The Dude of the Week, man
Just a bit outside…: Randy Arozarena felt what John Kruk felt like back in the day
Before Randy Johnson was exploding birds and taking photographs at games, The Big Unit was throwing gas for the Seattle Mariners. He did a lot of great things for the M's, but nothing more important than scaring Philadelphia Phillies star first baseman John Kruk half to death at the Midsummer Classic. Apparently, San Francisco Giants star Alex Cobb understood the assignment.
When Bob Uecker playing Harry Doyle said just a bit outside… this is what he had in mind. I don't think Major League could ever get made today for so many reasons, mostly because Senator David Palmer was too busy doing Allstate commercials. However, we all need hats for our bats and to crank some Troggs every now and then for our souls. Wild Thing, you make my heart sing!
And just like that, I'm seeing Randy Arozarena on my TV more than Charlie Sheen winning these days. For better or worse, Two and a Half Men has reached syndication. It's mostly about bowling shirts and Ducky from Pretty in Pink being so got dam insufferable. I have never seen a man want to pay bills less than Alan Harper. We all need more positive role models in our life, like Randyman!
Instead, our Role Models are a bunch of Jobins and Stiflers crashing minotaurs into fountains.
This. Is. Florida. Baseball! | The Dude of the Week, man
Chicks dig the long ball: I like the fact that you really like the Home Run Derby
Okay. This slide is going to be very different than the other three, but I don't really care. Apparently, y'all really care about the Home Run Derby. Look, it's not my thing, and it probably never will be. I would rather die than listen to Chris Berman say back more times in a second than times he has ever used the internet in his life. Then again, only he can live such a blessed life, man.
But then I saw this and then a few other things leading into Tuesday night's All-Star Game on FOX.
I get it now. The Home Run Derby is your big, dumb dog. He's stupid, but you love him anyway! To me, it might have been the kids in the outfield slapping hands with the All-Stars on both teams, or that eight-year-old running around the bases before the start of the game. I think what it did was remind me of when I was 10 and the All-Star Game came to Atlanta in 2000. It changed my whole life.
I went to Fanfest at the Georgia World Congress Center with my dad, my best friend at the time and his dad. We got autographs from the late, great Phil Niekro, who gave me really sage advice. "Do you still love baseball, John?" "Yes, Sir." "Well, keep playing, John, and good things will happen, as long as you love the game." I made my first All-Star team a season later and played travel ball.
The Home Run Derby is not my thing, but I'm not about to yuck your yum or jade a 10-year-old.
This. Is. Florida. Baseball! | Just a bit outside…
The Dude of the Week, man: Elly De La Cruz stole home like Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez!
While no-hitters, perfect games and triple plays are all pretty sweet, man, nothing does it for me than seeing a player steal home. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I'm 12 again, playing ball with my best friends. I'll never forget my grade school friend Hayden stealing home to win the game on one of our travel teams. It was every bit as cool as Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez's.
Then, I saw what Elly De La Cruz did to the Milwaukee Brewers and I broke down and cried…
To steal three bases in an inning is insane. To do that on two pitches is unheard of. That is just the kind of player the Cincinnati Reds have in De La Cruz. It wasn't that long ago that ownership nearly threatened to relocate the team to a bigger market. Now, they have the one player not on the Braves in the National League I would pay good money to see. He's the next Ronald Acuña Jr.
Okay, I lied. These last two slides have been very sentimental from me. There have been a lot of really positive changes happening in my life, personally and professionally. I am truly blessed that I get to do what I do for you. Thank you for reading and putting up with my stupid, nonsensical b******t on the reg. You know I love the Braves. Maybe I'm starting to fall in love with baseball again?
Anything I see in real life that reminds me of The Sandlot and my youth will get me in the feels.
This. Is. Florida. Baseball! | Just a bit outside… | Chicks dig the long ball