The Jacksonville Jaguars will be the best team in the NFL when it comes to proper hydration.
Make that two southeastern football teams of note that p**s teal, and excellence!
When it comes to the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, it is about showing pride in one's school. But for the Jacksonville Jaguars, it is all about being the greatest teammate ever. With the AFC South franchise in the midst of receiving massive upgrades to their facilities and stadium, you better believe their hydration levels will be off the charts now. Just ask Scott Hanson about it!
Never before have I wanted all the world to know how adequately hydrated my body really is.
As long as somebody doesn't take a Dookie in one of these urinals, everything will be umkay???
The Jacksonville Jaguars will be in first place when it comes to proper hydration
I get it. Florida is hot as s**t. It was underwater for a reason, but here we are, so we have to make the best of it. But in all seriousness, I appreciate the fact that Jacksonville's owner Shahid Khan has always been willing to put forth the money to give his team the resources it has needed. Yes, the Jaguars are historically dysfunctional, but Khan's heart seems to be in mostly the right places.
Despite having the coolest and most technologically advanced urinals on the market, the Jaguars have three things going for them: Doug Pederson as head coach, Trevor Lawrence as quarterback and the fact that they play in the AFC South. If the Lawrence/Pederson partnership continues to blossom in year two and beyond, the Jaguars can have a stranglehold on the division this decade.
Ultimately, good hydration is almost good vibrations. While we don't need no Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch walking into one of them stalls in only Calvins, it's not like Terry Hoitz shot Derek Jeter. Like Hoitz, the Jaguars are peacocks, and you got to let them fly! The Jaguars are no longer The Other Guys of the AFC. They are the champions of scaffolding permits, and proper hydration!
Jacksonville deserves the finest, whether it be cucumber-accented water or Jersey Boys tickets.