Big 12 football fans are only going to have to wait a few months to see this puppy play out.
The league may be going through a state of major transition, but what if I told you the Big 12 is actually operating from a vantage point of strength?
Outside of the Big Ten and the SEC, the Big 12 looks like it is going to most definitely survive the latest wave of realignment. Even more impressively, the league seems to have a forward-thinking newish commissioner in Brett Yormark, one who could be the guy to get the most out of quirkiest sport in the quirkiest league possible. As an eclectic, I am totally here for it, as you should be, too.
Here are five things that are 100 percent going to happen in a 14-team Big 12 this college season.
Big 12 football: 5 way-too-early bold predictions for the 2023 college season
5. Every man can't be a Wildcat and there won't be no purple frogs in Jerryworld!
Over the last three Big 12 Championship games, we have been blessed to have a completely different pair in each ballgame. All three conference title bouts have been decided by six points or less. Oklahoma edged out Iowa State during the COVID year. Baylor kept Oklahoma State out of the College Football Playoff by a yard. And K-State beat TCU, but didn't knock them out of the CFP.
Although Kansas State and TCU have outstanding head coaches at the helm of their purple Power Five programs, I expect for both the Wildcats and definitely the Horned Frogs to pull back. Oh, they're going to win like eight or nine games apiece and be fixtures in the AP Top 25. I just don't think we are going to see either of them in Arlington next season. Luck will not be on their sides.
Between the two, I believe in K-State more because the Wildcats return more than do the Horned Frogs. Plus, I also subscribe to the notion that Chris Klieman is the best head coach in the league. Sonny Dykes is really strong as well, but he was kind of considered an afterthought before becoming a holy servant to the sacred Hypnotoad. I would sell out, too. That thing is so awesome!
For the fourth year in a row, we will have two different teams playing for a Big 12 championship.
4. Mike Gundy will be everything Brett Yormark was hoping for on XFL telecasts
With news of the Big 12 potentially implementing XFL in-game interviews, I could not be happier that this could might be a thing. Having this exist in the SEC may prove too hot to handle for the casual viewer, but with the likes of Dave Aranda, Dana Holgorsen and absolutely Mike Gundy, we are in for a treat of some delicious in-game content. Gundy will change lives with these interviews.
Whether he is being asked about how his Stillwater yard tortoise is doing, how things are going with his backup quarterback's mom or why the Pokes are losing to the 'Eers by 17 points at the half, this is the content we need! I am not going to predict how Oklahoma State is going to do this year, as all I know is I will somehow find a way to be disappointed by the outcome, good or bad.
However, Gundy will give us a soundbite, or two, every bit as good as his "I'm a man. I'm 40!" speech. His coaching track record speaks for itself, but I personally believe Gundy is one more great soundbite away from officially securing his spot in the College Football Hall of Fame. A helluva coach, a helluva mullet and a helluva quote. Just please be interesting Oklahoma State…
When Brett Yormark agreed or suggested this, he 100 percent thought about Gundy in this matter.
3. Texas will be playing in a New Year's Six bowl, but won't be back just yet, guys
One of these days, Texas will be back. I might be dead by then, but it's happening, or the world's ending. Either way, we will probably talk about two of these three things, to be totally honest. I'll let you be the judge of that. While I do expect for Texas to be a top-15 caliber team this season, it will be a New Year's Six bowl for them, but they will not be playing in the College Football Playoff.
Making the four-team field is what will be required for Texas to finally be back. We don't need a future Indianapolis Colts backup quarterback to tell us they're back before they're back. You don't need to give yourself a nickname, just like you don't give yourself gold stars or stickers for doing a good job. Texas will be about a 10-2 team, but that probably puts them around eighth for the CFP.
I mean, they could make it to Arlington, and it wouldn't shock me to say the least. One could easily argue for the Longhorns being there. According to a potential future step-dad Urban Meyer, Texas has the best roster in college football. They're close, but no cigar this year. If it were horseshoes and hand grenades, I'd tell you what, Texas is so back, baby! Unfortunately, I don't play no games…
Texas might be good enough to win the Big 12, but I doubt they are a top-four program nationally.
2. We will know by Red River if Brent Venables is safe or it is Bob Stoops time!
It's hard to say it'll pop under Brent Venables in year two at Oklahoma, mostly because, well, it's Oklahoma… The former long-time Clemson defensive coordinator took the Big 12's Porsche and drove it into a ditch. Not since I could read have the Sooners been this bad on the football field. He may have been a first-time head coach, but all eyes will be on Venables and OU during Red River.
The Sooners don't have to beat the Longhorns in Dallas, but they can't be dog food either. Some have argued for Oklahoma to be this year's TCU and go on a magical run, but going 6-7 in the Big 12 doesn't hit the same as going 8-5 in the SEC. Kirby Smart may have lost to Vanderbilt and Georgia Tech in year one at Georgia, but those last few years of Mark Richt football were so rough.
While I do expect for Venables to add some substance to a program that wasn't exactly brimming with it under predecessor Lincoln Riley, it wasn't like it took first-time head coach Bob Stoops very long to turn this puppy around after that John Blake unmitigated disaster. Once Red River reaches conclusion, we'll either be buying into Venables long-term or trying to get ole Big Game Bob back.
Oklahoma cannot be wobbling heading into the SEC in 2024, or that will be beyond catastrophic.
1. A new Big 12 entrant will face the Red River Rivalry winner in Arlington, aight
Life update: I have filled up my bathtub up with ice and am going to have somebody extract one of my kidneys to sell on the black market so I can have enough money to fund my growing gambling addiction I haven't even fleshed out yet! My plan is to make this big bet in Las Vegas: The Big 12 championship will be between the Red River winner and one of those new guys joining the league.
I do realize this roughly equates to three-sevenths of the league, but I'm a man with a plan with potentially one less kidney. There is no reason to filter this big dumb sports stooge animal because that clearly hasn't worked up to any point in my so-called life. Basically, it will be Oklahoma or Texas vs. either BYU, Cincinnati, Houston or UCF in Arlington on that first Saturday of December.
For entertainment purposes, I want it to be Texas vs. UCF. That way, we get Steve Sarkisian vs. Gus Malzahn. No Touching vs. U Can't Touch This. Air vs. Ground. Burnt Orange vs. Sunburnt. SXSW vs. WDW. At this point in time, this is the only logical outcome any unbiased Big 12 college football fan could ever hope for. Texas leaving the Big 12 with UCF joining it for one most awkward soiree.
This dinner party featuring Raising Cane's and Waffle House will taste so good and will later kill us.