It isn’t surprising that Colombian singers Karol G and Shakira recently joined their creative forces to create the banger “TQG.” Shakira famously ended her long-term relationship with Spanish athlete Gerard Piqué in June 2022 because he cheated on her with his current girlfriend Clara Chia Martí — an infidelity Shakira allegedly discovered because Martí had eaten Shakira’s jam after spending the night with Piqué in their house — and Karol G also ended her engagement with Anuel AA after photos of him at a strip club emerged online. Since her split, Shakira has released songs that directly and indirectly mention her separation — “Monotonía,” “Te Felicito,” and “Bzrp Music Sessions #53” — thus making pop music out of the betrayal she suffered, and Karol G followed suit with the veteran pop diva when she released “TQG.”

But both women’s exes weren’t happy about being exposed for the hurt they caused. In an interview about the fallout of his separation, Piqué slammed Shakira for airing dirty laundry in public and took digs at her by closing a deal with Casio, which Shakira referenced in “Bzrp Music Sessions #53” as a diss to the woman Piqué left her for. Similarly, Anuel AA initially mocked Karol G, saying that she was no Shakira and referring to himself as “unforgettable.” More recently, while Karol G has not once mentioned Anuel AA by name in her songs or performances, Anuel AA has directly and publicly named her in his concerts and Instagram posts, trying to get her attention through his influence as a musical artist. It is a tale as old as time.

“Shakira and Karol G are receiving public backlash by their exes for expressing their hurt and telling their stories of overcoming betrayal.”

As outsiders, we can’t know what really happened between these couples, but what stands out in both of these cases is that Shakira and Karol G are receiving public backlash by their exes for expressing their hurt and telling their stories of overcoming betrayal. In “Bzrp Music Sessions #53,” Shakira sings about being left for a much younger woman and builds a narrative of surpassing heartbreak: “Las mujeres ya no llorán / las mujeres facturan” (“Women don’t cry anymore / women make money”). In “TQG,” Karol G sings that seeing her ex with another woman hurt her, but she’s already over it: “Lo que vivimos se me olvidó / Y eso e’ lo que te tiene ofendido / Que hasta la vida me mejoró” (“I forgot everything we went through / And that’s what offended you / Even my life is better [without you]”).

Needless to say, these songs have become anthems for women who have gone through heartbreak and betrayal — but the backlash from their exes indicate the men in these situations would like their wrongdoings to stay in the private realm. In other words, they don’t want the women they hurt to talk about the hurt they caused. This is often expected from Latina women: silence and subservience in the name of marianismo’s ride-or-die culture.

When Latinas push back on these gendered expectations and speak their truth, they are often stereotyped as overly emotional and messy, particularly when it comes to matters of the heart. This adds a layer to how Shakira’s and Karol G’s right to express themselves is being seen both by the public and by their exes. The “drama” Latinas supposedly bring into romantic relationships are used as excuses for harassment, and in some cases more violent kinds of gendered abuse. But if their partners hadn’t hurt them in the first place, there would be no drama to speak of.

“When Latinas push back on these gendered expectations and speak their truth, they are often stereotyped as overly emotional and messy.”

When a woman goes through heartbreak, she is well within her rights to talk about what happened, publicly or privately, no matter how much her partner wants to keep his reputation intact. To expect women to hide the ugly parts of her own experiences is sexist and perpetuates a culture of lack of accountability for men. Even more, a broken-hearted woman should be allowed to create art to explore what happened to her without being harassed or punished by public opinion. The end of relationships can be messy, but this shouldn’t be an excuse for men to publicly admonish women for expressing themselves.

Yet both men have been guilty of punishing their exes for moving on and for speaking on their experiences — and, to some degree, have even been commended for it. For instance, the very publicized harassment by Anuel AA, who is determined to get Karol G’s attention even though she doesn’t want it, has been regarded as romantic. This month, videos have gone viral of the Puerto Rican rapper mentioning Karol G in his concerts and even tagging her on Instagram posts where he disses her rumored current boyfriend Feid. Anuel AA’s staged love bombing and intimidation are examples of masculine entitlement for women’s attention and the lack of accountability men often bring into their relationships with women. And this behavior toward Karol G — where Anuel AA seemingly doesn’t want to accept that they are no longer in a relationship and that she has moved on — is dangerous.

“Whenever toxic masculinity is used to silence, intimidate, and violate visible, famous women, it shows society that it’s OK to do so to women who have fewer resources and support networks.”

At the end of the day, both Karol G and Shakira have resources to protect themselves and their loved ones from backlash. But whenever toxic masculinity is used to silence, intimidate, and violate visible, famous women, it shows society that it’s OK to do so to women who have fewer resources and support networks. Many women don’t have the legal or financial means to protect themselves from harassment or backlash for telling their stories, which is why the Latine community cannot just idly watch what’s happening without pointing out the attempts at silencing the two pop stars.

It is urgent that we condemn attempts to silence women when they are speaking their truth, and defend their right to tell their stories, even if it makes their exes deeply uncomfortable about their own actions being exposed.